留學(xué)寫作之如何寫好一篇essay？

一、高質(zhì)量的essay要具備什么要點(diǎn)

1.故事性！故事性！故事性！重要的事情說三遍！故事的語言一定要生動自然！

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2.脈絡(luò)一定要清晰，故事的發(fā)展走向要自然順暢，觀點(diǎn)明確，例證真實(shí)。

3.開頭絕殺，正文生動，結(jié)尾升華！

二、essay范文案例解析

這里小MA為大家解析一篇范文，essay題目“Breaking Into Cars”，正文如下：

I had never broken into a car before.

以前我從來沒有試過“破車而入”。

We were in Laredo, having just finished our first day at a Habitat for Humanity work site. The Hotchkiss volunteers had already left, off to enjoy some Texas BBQ, leaving me behind with the college kids to clean

up. Not until we were stranded did we realize we were locked out of the van.

當(dāng)時我們在Laredo，剛剛結(jié)束了我們在仁人家園（一個國際慈善組織）工作的第一天。志愿者們已經(jīng)離開去吃德州烤肉了，只剩下我和一些大學(xué)生負(fù)責(zé)最后的清掃。直到最后我們被困在這的時候，我們才意識到自己被鎖在房車外

了。

Someone picked a coat hanger out of the dumpster, handed it to me, and took a few steps back.

有人從垃圾箱里撿了一個衣架，遞給我，然后后退了幾步。

“Can you do that thing with a coat hanger to unlock it?”

“你能用那個衣架開鎖嗎？”

“Why me?” I thought.

“為什么是我？”我心想。

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window’s seal like I’d seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame.

Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I’d been in this type of situation before. In fact, I’d been

born into this type of situation.

與其說是因?yàn)闃酚^，不如說是覺得好玩，反正最后我還是決定嘗試下。我把衣架滑到窗戶的密封處，就跟我之前從犯罪電視劇里看的一樣，然后花了幾分鐘抖動內(nèi)部框架周圍的裝置。突然，兩件事情同時響了。一是門鎖（我確實(shí)

成功打開了），另外一個就是我突然意識到我之前遇到過這種情況。事實(shí)上，我就是在這樣的環(huán)境下成長的。（準(zhǔn)備引出正文了）

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my

house was functioning normally. My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear

burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed. “The water’s on fire! Clear a hole!” he shouted, tossing me in

the lake without warning. While I’m still unconvinced about that particular lesson’s practicality, my Dad’s overarching message is unequivocally true: much of life is unexpected, and you have to deal with the

twists and turns.

我的成長經(jīng)歷已經(jīng)使我對不可預(yù)知的事和混亂的事麻木了（全文論點(diǎn)）。作為一個有著7個孩子的家庭，我們家充斥著吵鬧、混亂和不穩(wěn)定。兄弟姐妹們在爭吵、狗在叫、電話在響……所有這些都是我們家的常態(tài)。我的父親，一名

退役海軍飛行員，一半時間他都不在家。當(dāng)他在家的時候，他對我們的管教就如同教官一樣。9歲的時候，我學(xué)會了如何從水的表面清理燃燒著的油。我父親認(rèn)為這是一個非常重要的生存技能——你懂的，以防我的航空母艦被擊

沉！“水上著火了！迅速清理！”他大喊著，并且沒有任何警告地把我扔進(jìn)湖里。盡管我一直不相信這種特殊訓(xùn)練的實(shí)用性，但是事實(shí)證明我父親那些包羅萬象的知識是正確的：生活中有太多不可預(yù)知的事情，你必須去應(yīng)對這些

波折。

Living in my family, days rarely unfolded as planned. A bit overlooked, a little pushed around, I learned to roll with reality, negotiate a quick deal, and give the improbable a try. I don’t sweat the small stuff, and

I definitely don’t expect perfect fairness. So what if our dining room table only has six chairs for seven people? Someone learns the importance of punctuality every night.

在我的家庭里，生活很少會按計(jì)劃進(jìn)行。帶著一點(diǎn)被忽視，又有一點(diǎn)被逼迫著的感覺，我學(xué)會了跟現(xiàn)實(shí)打交道，迅速地進(jìn)行協(xié)商，并對不可能的事進(jìn)行嘗試。我不會因?yàn)樾∈露鴵?dān)心，而且我也絕對不會要求完全的公平。試想一下

如果你們家的餐廳只有6把椅子但是卻有7個人怎么辦？某人因此學(xué)會了每晚準(zhǔn)時的重要性。

But more than punctuality and a special affinity for musical chairs, my family life has taught me to thrive in situations over which I have no power. Growing up, I never controlled my older siblings, but I learned

how to thwart their attempts to control me. I forged alliances, and realigned them as necessary. Sometimes, I was the poor, defenseless little brother; sometimes I was the omniscient elder. Different things to

different people, as the situation demanded. I learned to adapt.

但是比起守時和對搶椅游戲的特殊喜愛，我的家庭生活更多地教給我如何在自己沒有能力的情況下生存。成長過程中，我從來沒有控制過我的哥哥姐姐們，但是我知道如何打消他們控制我的念頭。我跟我的兄弟姐妹們結(jié)盟，并在

必要的時候更換盟友。有時候，我是弱小、缺乏保護(hù)的小弟弟；有時候，我是無所不知的大哥哥。根據(jù)環(huán)境的要求，對不同的人做不同的事。我學(xué)著調(diào)整自己。

Back then, these techniques were merely reactions undertaken to ensure my survival. But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on

throughout the year: “How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?”

那時候，這些技能只是確保我能順利生存下來的反應(yīng)而已。但是今年秋天的某一天，我們的校長Dr.Hicks問了我一個問題，這個問題是他希望所有高三的學(xué)生這一年都能反思的問題：“在一個不是由我選擇員工的公司，我如何參

與到一件我沒有管理的事情中？”

The question caught me off guard, much like the question posed to me in Laredo. Then, I realized I knew the answer. I knew why the coat hanger had been handed to me.

這個問題讓我措手不及，就像我在Laredo遇到的事情一樣。隨后，我意識到我知道答案。我知道衣架為什么被扔給了我。

Growing up as the middle child in my family, I was a vital participant in a thing I did not govern, in the company of people I did not choose. It’s family. It’s society. And often, it’s chaos. You participate by

letting go of the small stuff, not expecting order and perfection, and facing the unexpected with confidence, optimism, and preparedness. My family experience taught me to face a serendipitous world with

confidence.

在我的家庭里，作為一個年紀(jì)在中間的孩子，我就是那個沒有管理權(quán)、對人員沒有選擇權(quán)的公司里里的重要參與者。它是家庭，它也是社會。通常， 場面都是混亂的。你通過不在意細(xì)枝末節(jié)、不期望秩序和完美以及用自信、樂觀

和有準(zhǔn)備的心態(tài)面對未知事情的態(tài)度參與其中。我的家庭經(jīng)歷教會我用信心面對一個處處有意外的世界。

解析：這篇文章突出在哪？

1. 一個開放式的開頭吸引人的視線。

“I had never broken into a car before.”這段話只有短短的8個字，但是包含了很多重要的信息：場景設(shè)置（站在車邊準(zhǔn)備“破車而入”）傳遞出了作者想打破壁壘的想法（他可能是第一次做違法的事情），并且還有點(diǎn)令人對

故事走向產(chǎn)生好奇。

2. 正文部分細(xì)節(jié)具體，故事性強(qiáng)

志愿者去吃“Texas BBQ”而不是dinner或food，從dumpster里找出衣架、以及活動衣架的時候用“jiggles”而不是“move”這些描寫都非常具體且生動，再加上內(nèi)心活動的刻畫，使讀者更能夠想象得出當(dāng)時的窘境。

3. 由一個小意外自然引入更深層次的角度

在這篇essay中作者不僅是要描寫被鎖在車外的經(jīng)歷，更由此凸顯出自己經(jīng)歷豐富、應(yīng)對突發(fā)事件能力強(qiáng)的特質(zhì)，以小見大。

4. 用具體的例子來對抽象的觀點(diǎn)進(jìn)行闡釋

正文的一個重要觀點(diǎn)是“My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos.”而unpredictability and chaos是抽象的，所以作者用自己的家庭成長經(jīng)歷來具體表達(dá)這一觀點(diǎn)。

5. 少量幽默和隨意的語言讓文章更接地氣

在描寫從小父親對自己特殊的教育方式的時候，作者的語言更加隨意幽默還帶有一點(diǎn)吐槽。

6. 結(jié)尾自然地過渡到未來

過去的經(jīng)歷、現(xiàn)在的成熟以及清晰的自我認(rèn)知是所有成功essay都具備的關(guān)鍵要素。作者自然地將自己的成長經(jīng)歷與現(xiàn)在的遭遇以及自己的生活態(tài)度聯(lián)系在了一起，展現(xiàn)出了一個成熟上進(jìn)有潛力的大學(xué)生形象。

三、優(yōu)秀essay范文參考

I remember my hands trembling as I clenched the scissors, and my mother’s gorgeous locks fell to the ground ? I was six years old. Compelled to quit her studies after marriage, my mother resumed her

masters in `course` after ten stifling years. With my father’s solitary income going into tuition for my mother, sister and me, a proper haircut was a wasteful luxury. My parents shielded us from their struggles,

but the gravity of our situation hit home as I cut my mother’s hair.

我記得當(dāng)我握緊剪刀的時候，我的手在顫抖，我母親的漂亮的頭發(fā)掉在了地上——那時我才六歲。我母親在婚后被迫退學(xué)，在沉悶的十年后重新攻讀`課程`碩士學(xué)位。由于我父親獨(dú)自一人的收入要支付我母親、姐姐和我的學(xué)費(fèi)，

理個像樣的發(fā)型成了一種浪費(fèi)的奢侈。我的父母在他們的掙扎中保護(hù)我們，但當(dāng)我給母親剪頭發(fā)時，我們的處境的嚴(yán)重性擊中了要害。

When my mother finally cleared her examinations, I expected things to change. Instead, she declined lucrative offers to join public-services, catering to marginalized populations through `country’s` public

healthcare system. My parents unwavering desire to lead a life of meaning, fuelled my own. Over the course of my journey, I have carved my own path to making a difference – one of spreading my ideas and

impact, beyond what I could accomplish alone. I would like to share how three transformative experiences, starting over a decade ago, have progressively shaped this lifelong approach.

當(dāng)我的母親終于通過了她的考試時，我以為事情會有所改變。相反，她拒絕了參加公共服務(wù)的高薪邀請，通過(國家的)公共醫(yī)療體系來滿足邊緣化人群的需求。我父母要過有意義的生活的堅(jiān)定愿望，激勵了我自己。在我的人生旅

途中，我開辟了一條與眾不同的道路——一條傳播我的思想和影響的道路，這是我一個人無法完成的。我想與大家分享的是，十多年前開始的三種轉(zhuǎn)變性的經(jīng)歷，是如何逐漸塑造了這一終身方式的。

At 13, I was devastated to see my sister’s tiny frame shake violently as she coughed from asthma. What affected me most was learning that we had all contributed to these respiratory problems, by making

`city` the most polluted city in the world.

I refused to remain a silent spectator and started an environment club, `club`, at school. Digging-up compost pits and conducting tree-plantation drives, our team explored every opportunity to make our

premises greener. The efforts of our small 10-member team indicated to me the potential to spur larger change by motivating all 1500 students to step-up. Our idea to achieve this, by integrating

environmental-awareness within our curriculum, was dismissed by the administration for lack of resources. Undeterred, I started writing applications to garner financial support, and within months, led our team

to the first place in a national competition. The $15K we won infused both resources and enthusiasm to implement our eco-friendly curriculum.

Juggling my graduation-examinations and endless hours of organizing activities for the entire school, we grew `club` five-fold. Students stepped-up to expand our efforts, from transitioning our school to using

solar energy to organizing large-scale zero-waste campaigns. ‘Exponential’ was no longer just a graph I studied, I could tangibly see my impact multiplying by mobilising individuals around me.

Eager to replicate our success beyond school, I initiated environmental workshops for children from urban-slums in `city`.

“Boys don’t need to save money for dowry, do they not have to conserve environmental resources either?” asked 11-year old `name`. Half-way into my first workshop, my analogy of saving money to explain

the concept of conserving environmental resources, had derailed my session-plan.

Having witnessed the consequences of gender-disparity in my own childhood I started my non-profit `non-profit`, during college, to promote holistic life-skills education to uproot such evils. I was happiest

spending weekends in community-centres and public-classrooms, with my team of student-volunteers, conducting activity-based workshops for hundreds of children. I vividly remember when, beaming with

pride, `name` told me that she had saved enough money to buy her house. She not only grasped complex concepts of banking and savings, but acknowledged herself as a financially-independent female –

albeit in a game of Monopoly!

By graduation, we grew to a 20-member team and reached 1,000+ children. However, once I moved to join Investment-Banking, our student-volunteer model disintegrated and fundraising for a full-time team

seemed impossible. While struggling to sustain momentum, I saw a class-teacher enthusiastically taking initiative to support our program, during a workshop. Watching her, it struck me that scaling-up `nonprofit` was not the only way to further impact.

pullquote align=left text="Over the course of my journey, I have carved my own path to making a difference – one of spreading my ideas and impact, beyond what I could accomplish alone."}

Restructuring our workshops into a comprehensive curriculum, we showcased it to the state academic department. Winning their support, we trained 100 public-school teachers and principals to deliver the

program. Within two years, these teachers extended our program to 10,000 children and even co-opted their colleagues. Their efforts reaffirmed my conviction that enabling change-agents at a systemic-level

could accelerate impact at scale.

To steer my journey in this direction, I decided to quit my investment-banking job in `country` and return to `country`. Forgoing the financial comfort I was finally providing my family weighed on me, but I chose

to follow my heart. I joined `foundation`, a philanthropy focused on driving systemic change to tangibly impact India’s education landscape.

Innovative, low-cost teaching-aids developed by `company`, my `foundation` portfolio-organisation, drastically improved learning for children in rural classrooms. However, their low-monetization potential

generated minimal funder interest, threatening their existence. Their question, “How will we serve these children, when we can barely stay afloat?” echoed my own struggles at `non-profit`.

Collaborating with the `state` government, I helped `company` reduce costs through subsidies and extend their program to 40,000 students. I was leading large-scale projects with public systems at `foundation`,

but I realized that empowering social-enterprises such as `company` to drive systemic change could create ripple-effects throughout the ecosystem.

Today, non-profit social-enterprises in India fail to reach their potential, owing to lack of financial and strategic support - the largest remains 1/100th the size of its global peers. So, I took on the mandate to

launch an Accelerator within `non-profit`, to ensure this support, even though this meant leaving my team and starting out alone. My path was uphill, given `non-profit’s` strategic shift towards working directly

with governments ? the initiative was peripheral for every decision, be it budget-allocations or team-building.

The eagerness of portfolio-organizations in leveraging every support opportunity kept me going. Months of co-creating monetization strategies and facilitating government meetings paid off, in one instance,

enabling immense expansion for the portfolio-organization to reach 800,000 children. Such successes helped evangelize our potential and we are now raising an independent fund to support 30 entrepreneurs

to help transform education for 5M children.

My ten-year-old self wouldn’t believe just how far I have come – my hands no longer shake when I take decisive actions, whose outcomes I cannot always predict. Striving to continually widen my impact has

helped me progress from empowering school-students to supporting social-entrepreneurs, towards enabling an entire ecosystem of social change-makers.

Battling one constant challenge throughout, that of inadequate resources, has highlighted how social-finance could be the ‘driving-force’ towards my goal. Most importantly, I have learnt that beyond

individual efforts, by spearheading thought-leadership and global alliances, I can mobilize the entire ecosystem, catalyzing robust social-investment markets in India.

與資源不足這一始終存在的挑戰(zhàn)作斗爭，突顯出社會融資可能成為我實(shí)現(xiàn)目標(biāo)的“驅(qū)動力”。最重要的是，我認(rèn)識到，除了個人努力，通過領(lǐng)導(dǎo)思想領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力和全球聯(lián)盟，我可以調(diào)動整個生態(tài)系統(tǒng)，在印度催化強(qiáng)大的社會投資市

場。

My friend `name` described how assimilating diverse perspectives through the case-method at HBS helped him understand nuances of business across cultures, while the vibrant community provided access to

global networks. HBS equipped him to launch and grow his company across eight emerging economies, through partnerships with local entrepreneurs. Similarly, I am convinced that the ideas, experiences and

relationships built at HBS will help me realize my vision where every `club`, `non-profit` and `company` can go on to create the change it aspires to.

我的朋友(姓名)描述了在哈佛商學(xué)院通過案例法吸收不同觀點(diǎn)如何幫助他理解跨文化商業(yè)的細(xì)微差別，而充滿活力的社區(qū)提供了進(jìn)入全球網(wǎng)絡(luò)的途徑。哈佛商學(xué)院幫助他通過與當(dāng)?shù)仄髽I(yè)家的合作，在8個新興經(jīng)濟(jì)體創(chuàng)建并發(fā)展了自

己的公司。同樣，我也相信，在哈佛商學(xué)院建立的理念、經(jīng)驗(yàn)和關(guān)系將幫助我實(shí)現(xiàn)我的愿景，即每個`俱樂部`、`非營利組織`和`公司`都可以繼續(xù)創(chuàng)造它渴望的改變。